Fear of Being Average?
I used to confuse the fear of being average with ambition.
It wore the right costume – drive, hunger, potential.
But underneath, it was just fear.
Fear of disappearing without ever being fully seen.
Fear that I would live an entire life and still wonder if I ever really lived it.
You know that fear.
Not the loud kind.
The quiet one.
The one that hits you in good moments.
The dinner table with people you love.
The job that pays well.
The rhythm of days that look fine on paper.
And suddenly, an ache in your chest:
Is this it?
Where the Ache Really Comes From
It’s not because your life is bad.
It’s because it’s been built to be safe.
Safety is the most seductive kind of trap.
Because it doesn’t look like a prison.
It looks like comfort.
But what you’re really avoiding isn’t failure.
It’s the death of your image.
The idea of who you were supposed to be.
That false self that was always confident, always rising, always certain.
So you curate instead of create.
You maintain instead of expand.
And slowly – imperceptibly – you trade vitality for validation.
Until one day, you’re no longer afraid of being average.
You’ve become it.
And the worst part is…
You don’t even feel it.
You just feel numb.
The Myth We Were Sold
The fear of being average isn’t about mediocrity.
It’s about identity.
What we were really taught to fear was stillness.
Presence.
Being fully here without proving.
Because in a culture addicted to becoming,
to stop and say this is enough
feels like failure.
So we sprint.
Collect milestones.
Optimize everything.
While ignoring the simplest truth:
An extraordinary life isn’t made of extraordinary moments.
It’s made of extraordinary awareness.
The Day the Lie Collapsed
I was doing well.
From the outside:
Success. Options. Praise.
But inside, a slow erosion.
The kind that doesn’t scream. It whispers.
“You’re living someone else’s idea of success.”
It hit me while watching a man on stage
tell his story with zero charisma.
No hype.
Just truth.
I couldn’t stop listening.
Not because of how he spoke,
but because of what he had let go.
He didn’t need to be impressive anymore.
He wasn’t escaping average.
He was escaping ego.
And in that moment, I saw it:
I wasn’t afraid of being average.
I was afraid of being nothing without the chase.
The Real Definition of Average
It’s not about your job.
Not your income.
Not your daily routine.
Average is this:
Living in a loop of choices
you stopped questioning years ago.
Avoiding risk not because it’s wrong –
but because it might break the image you’ve built.
Staying busy so you never hear the voice inside
asking something terrifying:
“What if this isn’t who you are?”
That’s what being average really means.
Not failing.
But never actually beginning.
Small Ego Deaths That Set You Free
Bourdain knew this.
You’ve heard his story – chef turned author turned explorer.
But what most people miss is how quietly it started.
He didn’t burn his life down.
He just picked up the pen again.
Submitted one essay.
Took one ego hit.
He didn’t need to feel ready.
He just needed to stop protecting the illusion.
Ego death doesn’t look like drama.
It looks like choosing truth over image.
Humility over performance.
You don’t need to quit your job or flee to Bali.
You need to do the one thing you’re not sure you’re good at.
Speak before it’s perfect.
Try where you might fail.
Let go of being impressive.
And become real.
The Psychology of Regret Isn’t What You Think
According to research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
long-term regret stems far more from inaction than action.
Not from what we did wrong.
But from what we never did at all.
Your mind will rationalize comfort.
Your body will feel safe in routine.
But your soul doesn’t care how stable your calendar is.
It only knows one question:
“Did you become what you secretly knew you could?”
If not, regret arrives quietly.
Not as a crisis.
As a sentence you can’t unhear:
“If only I had…”
The Real Success Pattern I Now See
Everyone I’ve worked with inside the Real Success Ecosystem
has the same shift – sooner or later.
It’s not about growth.
It’s about removal.
They stop chasing what they were told to want.
They start clearing what never belonged.
They stop optimizing performance.
They start aligning with presence.
And without realizing it, they stop fearing being average.
Because they no longer measure themselves against illusion.
They see that real sovereignty
is not becoming more – it’s becoming you.
And in that quiet, powerful space…
everything accelerates.
Not through force.
Through congruence.
If You Still Fear Being Average, Read This Twice
That fear is not your enemy.
It’s your compass.
It means something in you is ready to wake up.
Not to chase more.
But to come back to what was always there.
There’s nothing wrong with a stable life.
But if it costs you your aliveness –
if it asks you to dim, perform, or numb out –
then what you fear isn’t being average.
It’s being forgettable to yourself.
So What Do You Do Now?
Don’t blow up your life.
Interrupt it.
Say yes to something that makes you sweat.
Put your work in the world before it’s finished.
Take the route with more unknowns.
If you’ve outgrown who you’ve been,
you don’t need a reinvention.
You need a funeral.
A small death of who you no longer are.
So that who you’ve always been
can finally breathe.
Let your ego panic.
Let the image crack.
And when the dust settles,
you’ll find the one thing
the average life could never give you:
Yourself.
– Randolphe
